So yesterday, I had a bad start to the morning. I've been running a lift club for the last 4 months, and keep getting messed around by the people who are driving with me. Almost every morning I have to Whattsapp them to find out who is driving with me. I tried to put rules in place like, if you haven't read my message by the time I get to the Durban Road turnoff, I'm going to keep driving; if you aren't at my house at 6.05, I'm leaving, etc, but yesterday was the last straw. One of them let me know the night before that he wasn't driving with me, but the other only let me know once I'd taken the long detour to where I pick him up and had arrived at the place. I'm an extremely routine-driven person, and having this kind of uncertainty in my life has been driving me crazy. And that's not to mention the incredible awkwardness of one of them - if I travel only with him, I feel so uncomfortable the whole way. He is so socially awkward, it's almost impossible to have a conversation with him.
Anyway, this morning, knowing I didn't have to rush to be perfectly on time, didn't have to detour, or worry about who was driving with, was SUCH a relief. It's crazy - Squirrel and I are at the stages of our life that we don't have to do things to accommodate other people. I was saying to him last night that the message I'd gotten from my one friend, saying how glad she was to meet me, and how she considers me to be one of her best friends (which is mutual, by the way), was such a lovely way to start the day, and how I'm just ME, and yet people seem to like me! Then I realised this morning how much I had actually been going out of my way to keep the people in the lift club happy. It's actually nonsense - we're driving with my car only, which means I do all the driving, and my car takes all the maintenance costs and petrol. And the irony is that I was at work well before 7am - I miscalculated how short the drive would be without the detours lol.
So, here's to a better day than yesterday - I left work early yesterday, went home, and went to sleep, because I was feeling so out-of-sorts. Squirrel let me sleep, only waking me up with supper (he rocks. I love him SO much). Then I finished my book, and went back to sleep. It was such a lekker afternoon, I kinda want to do it again lol.
There is a guy who works here, who is loud, obnoxious, always has to insert himself into a conversation and then steer it his way, who is ignorant, selfish, and a total braggart (he only knows people who are famous, or number 1 in something in the world - yea right). He started yelling to me a couple of weeks ago (in front of colleagues), about how much more than me he knows, and how I know nothing... that was also the last straw for me. I've been putting up with him, been trying to help him (as I always do), even though it's crystal clear he has psychological problems (he will take an entire bottle of anti-inflammatories in a morning, and then complain how sore his stomach is). We are still on probation at work, for the next 2 months still, and yet, he's taken like his entire three years' worth of sick leave already. He's not winning any popularity contests here either - people are getting sick of him, so I know I don't have to do anything, all I have to do is watch and let him hang himself... But in the meantime, just having him around has made me very negative. I have to watch for that. I decided the other day that I wasn't going to let him bring me down, and normally I'm extremely positive (so much so that I annoy myself lol), but my thoughts have been very negative because of him. It's a daily struggle. But I love my job, and won't let him, or anybody else, ruin it for me.
From now on, I'm going to be me, and I'm going to be a bit selfish. I need it - my focus is my family, not other people, not other "projects".
